A Mating Ball

Without question, there are things that I have said and done that make me cringe.

That’s what happens to us all when we forget 

or choose not to pause before speaking or reacting. 

Maybe we misheard.

Maybe that’s not what was meant.

Maybe our advise wasn’t needed

Maybe someone was hurting.

Cringing feels like a ball of snakes in my stomach. 

A ball of snakes is also known as a breeding or a mating ball. 

I saw a mating ball once and it was mesmerizing.

It also totally grossed me out. 

Dozens of male garter snakes surround one female and it becomes a writhing orgy. 

The male participants may last an hour or those with stamina may hang around for a couple of days.

Sometimes more than one male gets bragging rights, but not all, she’s selective. Eventually each slithers off, one by one.

I can only imagine the female was getting a great massage, so she stayed put. (That is until she has to birth 15 to 40 live babies in two or three months.)

The venom of Garter snakes is mildly toxic. My husband, Peter, says when you catch one, it feels like it’s peeing in your hand.

No big deal and he’s had experience.

When I find myself kept awake with a knot in my stomach, because of something I’ve done or said, 

I give myself about 5 minutes of 

miserable, 

critical, 

pitiful, 

cringing, 

tossing and turning. 

I then observe, remember, and forgive.

I practice untangling what I can’t change.

Then I have a choice, I can fall asleep or I can imagine who I’d selectively wiggle, twist, squirm, and slink with.

Although cringing could be caused by guilt, shame or regret, they are words I rarely use. I don’t need to make things worse.

It takes practice to shed them like the skin of a snake.

There’s nothing to feel bad about, 

after all, when we shed an old skin, what’s left?