Thars a bar.

I’m impressed with Claudia’s last story taking place on the Pacific Northwest Trail. https://substack.com/@cccandc/note/p-176889628?r=35kr11&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

Dealing with the elements, minimal provisions and possibly building her own snow fort for 3, takes balls. However, I’m surprised she didn’t mention potential wild animal encounters.

Maybe she had enough to think about. Better out of mind and out of sight, I’d say.

I’ve felt that way when Lassie stops short while we are walking in the woods. I don’t know what’s out there but if you ignore them, whatever them are, they will ignore you. I then pay attention to things that are more afraid of me than I of them, like newts, and keep on walking.

Yesterday Lassie charged off the porch and stopped 8 feet short of a teenage porcupine. She wasn’t moving any closer. She’s smart like that.

“HEY…Whoa there!” I yelled at both animals as I picked up a piece of house trim that had fallen off of something.

The teenage porky was coming home late. This was all he needed.

“G’won git. You ain’t stay’n’roun here” I growled, as I neared him and then leaned on the trim like a shovel. (I do a really good Sam Elliot impersonation.)

The standoff took a couple of minutes.

“Wha’jew jest say ta’ me?” I sneered at his puffed up back as he finally toddled off, rolling his eyes.

Earlier this summer, my friend Maggie, her dog JJ, Lassie, and I were setting off on a walk in the woods.

She said, “Did I tell you about the bear on Playhouse Lane? He was eating berries off the bushes, in front of the old schoolhouse. We wouldn’t have seen it except a neighbor waved, put his fingers to his lips and pointed. I couldn’t believe it! I’ll show you the photo when we get back to the car. I walk with an air horn now. Wait…it must have fallen out of my pocket when I took off my sweater.”

“It’s blue and white” she yelled over her shoulder. as we retraced our steps. I could have used more specifics like shape, size, or shade of blue. I didn’t know how to focus my eyes.

I asked myself, “Aren’t air horns huge and loud? Is there smoke? Are they dangerous? Do they detonate if they are dropped?”

Well, evidently not.

“Found it!” She announced.

It looks like an inhaler.

Back at the car she showed me a picture of a teenage bear brazen enough to pick at easy eats in the historic district of town.

It looks at the camera with a goofy, yet bullying expression, as if saying,

“Keep moving, nothing to see here. Buggawuggawoo! Runaway scaredy cats”.

I’m going to practice making air horn noises just for fun. BAAAaaaaaWHAAaaaa. I can add it to my repertoire of impersonations. I’ll also add a real one to my emergency pack along with candy and duct tape in case I ever go on a real hike.